Kim's List of Christmas stuff

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Paper
2. Real tree or Artificial? I prefer real, but can't afford 8 real ones every year so artificial
3. When do you put up the tree? I watched my wife put them all up last weekend.
4. When do you take them down? I will watch her take them down on Jan. 1st.
5. When do you start listening to Christmas carols? November 1 - Against my will
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Starbird spaceship and spaceport
7. Hardest person to buy for? My dad
8. Easiest person to buy for? Andy
9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Wife
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Perpetual turtlenecks/sweaters from Kim's mother. She seems to have finally figured it out the last couple of years, though.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Christmas Vacation
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? November
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No, I don't recycle anything...
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Turkey, but I never get it because Kim thinks you eat Ham for Christmas. That's just wrong.
16. Lights on the tree? a few (hundred thousand)
17. Favorite Christmas song? Snoopy and the Red Baron

18. Travel at Christmas or stay at home? Home
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's? Yes
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Growing up, I had a really great scarecrow for our tree-topper, but SC isn't fun like that...
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Christmas morning
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Most everything is annoying for most of the year.
23. What theme or color are you using? Umm red and green?
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Turkey and SC's grandma's peas and rice
25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Powder Blue Evgeni Malkin Jersey
26. Favorite Christmas special? Charlie Brown Christmas
27. Favorite holiday tradition? SC's Christmas party.
28. Does Christmas mean Santa or Christ's birth to you? Ho Ho Ho. Jesus was born in August...
29. Do you go to Church on Christmas? Christmas Eve
30. Midnight Mass or Day? usually 5 or 7 pm I prefer 11PM, but my litter of kids do not.
31. Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays? Merry Christmas
32. Do you wear Christmas sweat shirts or sweaters? Nope.
33. Do you put up outside lights? Well, somebody does. I think it is elves...

The Fisherman

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, 'Excuseme, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago,but I don't know where I am.'

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, 'You're in a hot airballoon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.'

She rolled her eyes and said, 'You must be a Republican.'

'I am,' replied the man. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'mstill lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me.'

The man smiled and responded, 'You must be a Democrat.'

'I am,' replied the balloonist. 'How did you know?'

'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you'regoing. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hotair. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position youwere in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.'

Democrats on an Escalator

Golf Rule Changes

THE USGA WOULD LIKE TO INFORM ALL GOLFERS
With the election of Barack Obama, MAJOR rule changes to the game of golf are being planned:
This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being written now.
Here are a couple of basic changes.
Golfers with handicaps:
- below 10 will have their green fees increase by 35%
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees
- above 18 will play for free and even get a check from the club/course played
The $ amount put in for bets will be as follows:
-for handicaps below 10 an additional $10
-between 11 and 18 no additional amount
-above 18 you will receive the total amount in the pot and you do not even have to play.
The term “gimme putt” will be changed to “entitlement”
and will be used as follows:
-handicaps below 10, no entitlements
-handicaps above 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts
-handicaps above 18, if on green, no need to ever putt, just pick it up
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness in scoring so that the final scores of all players will be about the same.
In addition, a Player will be limited to a max of one birdie and/or six pars, any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player making the birdie or par, can that Player begin to count his score again.
The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps 18 and above.
This is intended to "redistribute" the success of winning by making sure that in every competition the above 18 handicap players will post only "net score" against every other player's gross score.
These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf
Golf must be about Fairness Only, it should have nothing to do with Ability.

Catching Up

I guess I can catch up on all these lists I have not previously responded to due to my earlier blog boycott and my more recent whirlwind tour of the deep south for work. Plus SC is dissing me for not doing them.

(A) - Attached or Single - Attached to SC since I was about 15 months old, I believe...
(B) Best friend... SC
(C) Cake or pie... Pie. Peach or Raspberry or Lemon Meringue.
(D) Day of choice... Saturday
(F) Favorite color... Red
(G) Gum or mints... Mints. I have a gum problem. I can't chew it without unconsciously swallowing it.
(H) Hometown... North Huntingdon, PA
(I) Favorite Indulgence... SC
(J) January or July... Januray. Too hot in July
(K) Kids... 4 boys
(L) Life isn't complete without... Hockey
(M) Marriage date... November 25, 1995
(N) Number of brothers and sisters... 1 sister (3 years younger than me.)
(O) Oranges or apples... Oranges
(P) Phobias... feet
(Q) Quotes... "Rules are important. I like rules." (Santa Clause II), "Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe" - Albert Einstein
(R) Reasons to smile... I don't believe I'm familiar with that facial expression...
(S) Season of choice... Spring
(T) Tag... You're it!
(U) Unknown fact about me... I had scarlet fever in 1st grade. There is a theory that that is what happened to all of my potential female offspring...
(V) Valentine's Day or not... Hell no.
(W) Worst habit... Being bothered by stupid things like the fact that there is no 'E' in this list...
(X) X-ray vision or invisibility... Invisibility.
(Y) Your favorite food... Filet Mignon
(Z) Favorite zoo animal... Elephants

Four jobs I've had:
Paper Boy
Dining Hall worker - University of Delaware
Computer programmer - CSC
Network Engineer
Four places I've been on vacation:
San Francisco, California
West - 13 states, 3 1/2 weeks, 7500 miles on the car
Jamaica
Germany
Four of my favorite foods:
Filet Mignon
Pizza
Key Lime pie
Crab cakes
Four movies I can watch over and over:
Serenity
Any Star Trek movie
Band of Brothers
Love Actually
Four places I've lived:
N. Huntingdon, PA
Exton, PA
Lincoln University, PA
Greensburg, Pa.
Four TV shows I love to watch fairly regularly:
Battlestar Galactica
Boston Legal
Lost
Deadliest Catch
Four websites I visit daily:
Special Forces blogs
ESPN
Cisco.com
Penguinslive/Steelerslive
Four places I'd rather be right now:
San Francisco, CA
Bora Bora
Montana
Home


1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:00
2. Diamonds or pearls? pearls
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Star Wars Clone Wars
4. What is your favorite TV show? Battlestar Galactica
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? cereal
6. What is your middle name? Michael
7. What food do you dislike? Most any vegetable other than corn
8. What is your favorite CD at moment? Carrie Underwood - Carnival Ride
9. What kind of car do you drive? Acura TL with 180,000 miles on it.
10. Favorite sandwich? Norwin Band roast beef
11. What characteristics do you despise? Other people. Wait, is that a characteristic?
12. Favorite item of clothing? jeans
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Bora Bora
14. Favorite brand of clothing? Don't care about brands, just fit and price. (ie, I can't feel it and cheap).
15. Where would you retire? Montana
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? The first one, when I was actually born.
17. Favorite sport to watch? Hockey
18. Furthest place you are sending this? the black hole at the center of our galaxy.
19. Person you expect to send it back first? Nobody since I am way behind...
20. When is your birthday? March 7th.
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night
22. What is your shoe size? 13
23. Pets? 2 dogs
24. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? I had a dream the other night that SC went to the hospital with stomach pains and came home with another kid. I'm really really hoping that wasn't some sort of premonition.
25. What did you want to be when you were little? Astronaut. Still do.
26. How are you today? A little bored here in Roanoke, VA.
27. What is your favorite candy? Nestle Crunch
28. What is your favorite flower? Magnolia
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Any day I don't have to go to work.
30. What is your full name? Christopher Michael Gorr
31. What are you listening to right now? Virginia Tech vs. Georgia Tech
32. What was the last thing you ate? Buffalo chicken sandwich at Hooters in High Point, NC.
33. Do you wish on stars? no
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? black.
35. How is the weather right now? Beautiful. Mostly sunny and warm
36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? SC. Like most every other phone call I have, she only called because she couldn't get something to work on the computer.
37. Favorite soft drink? root beer
38. Favorite restaurant? Ruth's Chris
39. Real hair color? brown
40. What was your favorite toy as a child? Starbird spaceship.
41. Summer or winter? Winter. You can always put more clothes on to get warmer, but you can only take so much off to get cooler...
43. Chocolate or Vanilla? real vanilla
44. Coffee or tea? Tea. Coffee stunts your growth, but apparently only in the vertical direction.
45. Do you want your friends to email you back? Friends?
46. When was the last time you cried? Several years ago. I was exceedingly drunk and don't even remember the year now. SC probably remembers.
47. What is under your bed? Given that I am in the Courtyard in Roanoke, VA I'm hoping nothing but I'm not going to check.
48. What did you do last night? Watched Rocky II
49. What are you afraid of? people. people with feet are even worse.
50. Salty or sweet? salty
51. How many keys on your key ring? 5
52. How many years at your current job? 8
53. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
54. How many towns have you lived in? 5
55. Do you make friends easily? no.
56. How many people will you send this to? nobody
57. How many will respond? dunno

LOST!

Due to prodding from my exceptionally rude wife, it appears that a couple of movies walked out the door with certain invited guests ths afternoon. It's not nice to mess with people's OCD tendencies. It would have been a good idea to take Rain Man too and watch the scene where Tom Cruise is running the bathwater in the motel and Dustin Hoffman goes ape-shit so you won't be completely shocked when you see the same sort of reaction in the near future...

Wendi's Pictures

We were sitting here tonight watching the women's vault finals on TV and were amazed to see that one of the competitors and medalists appeared to have been photo-shopped by Wendi in real life. This chick's head is at least two-times too big for her body. I believe NBC is creating imaginary athletes by stitching video/pictures of various male/female body parts together and trying to pass them off as actual people. Maybe this is how they hope to keep more than 10 viewers a night now that swimming is done. I think there should be formal investigation. This could be even bigger than the fact that the chinese are trying to pass off 5-year-old girls as 16 in gymnastics